spaceperson.net

Someone finally updated her eharmony profile! Zhang Ruifang here enjoys long walks on the beach, challenging the integrity of God’s followers and singling out Africa. But she is probably best known for her invention of homosexuality and Pokémon. Zhang is looking for someone to pet her horn and keep Hitler company. If you want to get in touch with Zhang just masturbate and she’ll come to you.

No Catholic clergy or televangelists please, Zhang just came out of an abusive relationship. Being half human, half death-cake is a plus but not required.
Via bild.de

If you think you’re cool now chances are you really are cool now because why lie to yourself? That doesn’t make sense. And yet when you woke up today you didn’t know that you could want a set of TV inspired figurines so bad you might even write a blog post about it to illustrate your craving.

And this is exactly how I didn’t feel today. Because while I do want a set of these Mad Men dolls really bad I don’t have enough fantasy to actually put them to use other than to have them fornicate. And that’s a short-lived joy. Much shorter than Asian girls laughing and screaming at a pair of hairy legs. Now, that’s entertainment we can believe in.

via: NYTimes

Me and my fellow Bieberians and Biebernauts (we call ourselves that, right?) just HATE it when people with a certain sexual orientation start having haircuts and faces like our Justin. We hate it. And resent it and only Justin can make our anger and/or our virginity go away. Shoo, go away, I say. Don’t look at this page. It’s filled with vile lesbians looking like our angelic pubescent savior. Rapture us, Justin! Rupture Rapture us already!

Link of a day: lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com

p.s. you too!

The following sentence is inspired by a true story: You look into a mirror and you know you’re not going out today. True story. Now tape-aided prettiness is not a craze, it’s here to stay and ask if it can use your bathroom because it hasn’t been in a bathroom for ages and feel it could use a little face 2.0. Granted transforming yourself into Michael Jackson is easy. Few props required. Try Ke$ha. You don’t have this much garbage at home! Michael Jackson? Sure. Video after the jump.

Obviously: Why? But also: How do you approach people who have jobs and families to lose to participate in a live action adaptation of the Goofy movie? Because of course there is a Goofy movie – that is not the question.

• Guy: Hey, Sarah. You know how there’s a company that makes animated movies about rat people with low IQs?
• Girl: Yeah, Josh, I know that.
• Guy: Good, Sarah, good. I think we should put human faces to to them.
• Girl: You’re hot.
• Guy: I like how you engage me in a meaningful way.

The attention to detail is fairly amazing. Why can’t every day on the internet be like this? Video here and after the jump.

Having a blog is hard, you guys. And if it wasn’t for the Christian foundation of Lady GaGa’s twitter feed supplying us with pictures of Lady GaGa dressed up as or in household items we might as well give up and shower.

Pages are now supported by the following tumblr themes:

• You look terrible today
• Der gute Zeitgeist
• Frosted Glass
• New York
• Paper Walls

You know how it’s enjoyable to watch old food commercials because society is now suffering from what they were advertising? And how prancing down a lush meadow in slow motion with Sarah and the kids and our Technicolor balloons is way better than sitting at home with Sarah and the kids and our Technicolor balloons tethered to the couch with ball-gags in our mouths? Of course you do.

Words cannot express how much I like this video except for the words “I really like this video”. Hold your Horses is a band that apparently makes great songs AND great videos. Combinations like these only occur in bands who make great songs and great videos. A rare find, my friends. The band reenacted a total of many famous paintings for their song “70 Million” and put it up on the vimeo. I suggest you go there, now.

I like old movies because I take comfort in the fact that the actors are all dead. All of them. Even the children. You just don’t get simple pleasures like these with modern movies. And the special effects on this one are pretty neat considering that it’s 1903. With the growing and the shrinking. And you really believe that Alice is a man with long hair. Video and trivia after the jump.