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There is apparently going to be a third movie in the Twilight series saga and it’s called Eclipse but that’s nobody’s fault. And whenever people make movies to put into theater they also make tiny movies to showcase the big movie in a very short time because we have very busy lives. And one brave girl took some time out of her rich life to show us how she reacted to said tiny movie of Eclipse. I am now liveblogging my reactions to her reactions in a non live medium with a prewritten post. It’s going to be awesome.

A bloody baby, hyper intelligent shark people and ugly people on state-run television. What do they have in common? The answer is nothing. But that doesn’t mean bloody babies and hyper intelligent shark people cannot be featured in montage of the top 20 5-second videos of 5secondfilms.com. But before you try figuring out how long the video is going to be hit the jump and find out the answer.

If you think you’re cool now chances are you really are cool now because why lie to yourself? That doesn’t make sense. And yet when you woke up today you didn’t know that you could want a set of TV inspired figurines so bad you might even write a blog post about it to illustrate your craving.

And this is exactly how I didn’t feel today. Because while I do want a set of these Mad Men dolls really bad I don’t have enough fantasy to actually put them to use other than to have them fornicate. And that’s a short-lived joy. Much shorter than Asian girls laughing and screaming at a pair of hairy legs. Now, that’s entertainment we can believe in.

via: NYTimes

The following sentence is inspired by a true story: You look into a mirror and you know you’re not going out today. True story. Now tape-aided prettiness is not a craze, it’s here to stay and ask if it can use your bathroom because it hasn’t been in a bathroom for ages and feel it could use a little face 2.0. Granted transforming yourself into Michael Jackson is easy. Few props required. Try Ke$ha. You don’t have this much garbage at home! Michael Jackson? Sure. Video after the jump.

Obviously: Why? But also: How do you approach people who have jobs and families to lose to participate in a live action adaptation of the Goofy movie? Because of course there is a Goofy movie – that is not the question.

• Guy: Hey, Sarah. You know how there’s a company that makes animated movies about rat people with low IQs?
• Girl: Yeah, Josh, I know that.
• Guy: Good, Sarah, good. I think we should put human faces to to them.
• Girl: You’re hot.
• Guy: I like how you engage me in a meaningful way.

The attention to detail is fairly amazing. Why can’t every day on the internet be like this? Video here and after the jump.

Words cannot express how much I like this video except for the words “I really like this video”. Hold your Horses is a band that apparently makes great songs AND great videos. Combinations like these only occur in bands who make great songs and great videos. A rare find, my friends. The band reenacted a total of many famous paintings for their song “70 Million” and put it up on the vimeo. I suggest you go there, now.

Apparently there is a show called the Wendy Williams Show hosted by a Wendy Williams. And she had Elmo on because people can have Elmo on their show and not feel they have to shower and shower afterwards to ever feel clean or respectable again. And Elmo brought her a surprise she was “dying” to find out about. And to her defense she did die a little. We all did.

We are this little girl. We all are. We just don’t like Kesha, that’s the only difference.