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If you think you’re cool now chances are you really are cool now because why lie to yourself? That doesn’t make sense. And yet when you woke up today you didn’t know that you could want a set of TV inspired figurines so bad you might even write a blog post about it to illustrate your craving.

And this is exactly how I didn’t feel today. Because while I do want a set of these Mad Men dolls really bad I don’t have enough fantasy to actually put them to use other than to have them fornicate. And that’s a short-lived joy. Much shorter than Asian girls laughing and screaming at a pair of hairy legs. Now, that’s entertainment we can believe in.

via: NYTimes

You know how it’s enjoyable to watch old food commercials because society is now suffering from what they were advertising? And how prancing down a lush meadow in slow motion with Sarah and the kids and our Technicolor balloons is way better than sitting at home with Sarah and the kids and our Technicolor balloons tethered to the couch with ball-gags in our mouths? Of course you do.

“I may not understand Lost but
…umm, where am I? Who are you?… I’m cold. I need to pee.”

Lost and I came up with a new safeword. Whenever Lost is being terrible I go “I’m having a stroke”. And then I have a stroke. The end.

To be fair I’d already put on my low expectations face in preparation of what was about to come in season 6. But let’s catch up first: John who isn’t John but the smoke monster/ Jacob’s frenemy had Ben kill Jacob. Also Faraday predicted that an atomic bomb could make everything unhappen and Juliette lovingly activated it with a couple of gender reaffirming slaps. And so it sets off.