I know what we do for this season of Lost! Let’s gather up chubby, scary, asia and dead and have them say “mmmh… cake”. That’s another mystery! And we’re Lost! It makes a lot of sense if they just say mmmh, cake and if they do it in front of a green screen so that it’s not meaningful. And cake sounds a lot like Kate. And no one even likes Kate! This show is getting better by the second, people. By the second! I need to pee!

“I may not understand Lost but
…umm, where am I? Who are you?… I’m cold. I need to pee.”

Lost and I came up with a new safeword. Whenever Lost is being terrible I go “I’m having a stroke”. And then I have a stroke. The end.

To be fair I’d already put on my low expectations face in preparation of what was about to come in season 6. But let’s catch up first: John who isn’t John but the smoke monster/ Jacob’s frenemy had Ben kill Jacob. Also Faraday predicted that an atomic bomb could make everything unhappen and Juliette lovingly activated it with a couple of gender reaffirming slaps. And so it sets off.