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Hey, sweetie, Grandpa Tobacco wants to talk to you. Alone. In his van. And please bring the key to your chastity belt. Shudder. This French Anti-Tobacco ad makes a great case to skip your next trip to grandma and grandpa Morris Altria .

Via ABCnews

Well, someone probably can’t wait for puberty to grow out of this face. But thanks for agreeing to have your picture taken only to be made fun in front of the internet. You are my window licking child of the day.
via joannecasey.blogspot.com

Y’all need to repack your pilgrimage suitcases. Unfortunately the times are long gone when we could bank on the Virgin Mary to appear in a scenic village in south-western France. She’s sprinkled a little more BANG on her apparitions and is now bleeding from her glacier in Antarctica’s McMurdo Dry Valleys.

Is it half past crazy already? Now I’ll admit if I had to choose which animal to make into a hat I’ll make it an owl 90% of the time. Ten percent are going to Barbara Walters, Barbara Walters has just earned ten percent of all our animal headwear related decisions.

But in all seriousness someone has to make a naked PETA poster about it to make people prolong this out of spite. I nominate Justin Bieber and the Pope, preferably in a Bambi-themed double with the Pope giving birth to a bloody Bieber mess saying “Justin wasn’t born to be a hat” because Justin was not born to be a hat. And let’s all hurry because the next Pope might not be so lucky as to have been born with smoky eyes.

20 years ago many of us were a lot younger. I was bald and drinking from my mother’s breasts was still socially accepted. And now here I am fully clothed, housebroken and Photoshop is 20. I don’t know how people ever lived with navels and black people. Fair to say the lady on the left seems to be surprised as well. But apparently that’s what life was like back in 20 years ago. A trip down memory lane after the jump.

I have a very low daily penis quota. I also like my penis not to one up me when it comes to fashion. Two things that disqualified me to play internet today. Let me set the scene for you.

You probably haven’t heard of Chatroulette. Because you live in a cave and feed on pigeons and German kids attracted by the gingerbread exterior. But Chatroulette is simple. It’s really just a webcam chat that hooks you up with a random person. So ideally both of you actually have a webcam and one of you looks retarded while the other makes a screenshot so we can all get in on the fun. Simple, right? Now, if you happen to be the person showcased on the right you might be wondering why are these girls laughing? Is it because of their outgoing personality? Well, I’ve highlighted the problematic parts for you and determined your gender (male). You’re welcome.

I shower and shower and yet this feeling of uncleanliness won’t disappear. But you must understand I’d like to remain anonymous and… bearded.

We’ve grown to love Apple, Apple was in Home Alone and we sleep in the same bed with Apple even though Apple is twelve (the Good Son is a tough premise to maintain). Now, sure, we also love Windows. But mainly because Windows hasn’t drowned our second-born. And now that we’re dangling them both from a cliff it’s fair to say we’re already having doubts about our parenting skills. So who do we choose?

We here at Le Site are celebrating Valentine’s by being overweight and unemployed. Because Le Site doesn’t pay, we is still just me and me is single. But that doesn’t mean I can’t watch the trailer for Valentine’s Day and cast judgment on people who look better than me, mom!

To be fair Valentine’s Day has been around for two thousand years and was invented by God. The day that is, not the movie. The movie just fell out of Julia Robert’s nostrils and that was Thursday I think. As evidenced by the trailer Julia Roberts had her nostrils widened in order to be able to encompass are wider range of orificial expressions. Her orifices were also key to an Amnesty International rescue mission in 2009 and are now home to a methadone clinic.